the difference between submitting & surrendering


for the sake of semantics & sanity you wanted me to come down
off the ledge where i scrawled: i bequeath you all my nouns but
none of my verbs
–the difference between submitting & surrendering
something i won’t allow you to keep. i write in past tense but am
always thinking of the future, and if you were me you’d understand
what it is to stand at the edge of this 12th story building made
only of matchsticks with fire roiling in your throat, the doctors
just though it was heartburn, it was really heart-smolder–for the
record i may have submitted but i never surrendered, i say this
like gravity is something to be trumped, which i only can do when
i’m thinking of someone other than myself, which in this age of
digital self-consumption is very hard to do. let’s start a fire
in my memory and when it’s all over we’ll see what remains, if
your name makes for good verbiage, an action that can be done
over and over again, and i will play the deaf and dumb noun that
submits, but never, ever, surrenders.

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