why i don’t write to advice columns anymore

dear abbi:

this october night finds me lucid and sober, and by sober
i mean i haven’t taken the benzos yet. i could write you
a pharmaceutical history but it just begins to repeat over
and over, the way the pills sometimes repeat in my throat,
along with so many other hard foreign objects. sometimes
when i stand in the shower i open my mouth and try to inhale,
as if through drowning, i could relearn how to breath again.
what do you do in the shower?

–stands in the shower so long my heart starts to pucker


dear stands in the shower so long your heart starts to pucker:

i am glad for your sobriety, and yes, the days pass in such a blur!
i’m not sure what a ‘benzos’ is but i’m sure you’re a nice girl too
and did you ever think that maybe you ought to transfer
all that negativity? when you cry you should wear a raincoat!
here is a pamphlet where you can teach yourself and others
the heimlich manuever. thank you so much for sending me mail!
i always make sure to wash behind my ears and could send
you a sample of soap that smells of lavender!



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